A Note Before We Are Sued Again
After another month of allegations, corrections and strongly worded letters, Hagatha addresses the rumours, the lawsuits and why the newspaper is no longer welcome in three villages.
As Editor-in-Chief, I feel it necessary to address several concerns raised following our previous editions.
Firstly, we would like to clarify that Lord Blackthorn is not, nor has he ever been, secretly three goblins standing on each other’s shoulders. While we maintain that the evidence was compelling, the courts have ruled otherwise.
Secondly, reports that the Mayor’s prized horse was regularly attending secret meetings with woodland creatures remain entirely unproven. The horse has declined all requests for comment.
We would also like to apologise to Mrs Puddlewick, whose award-winning marrow was incorrectly identified as an escaped swamp beast in last month’s issue. The photograph was admittedly inconclusive.
Furthermore, despite popular belief, The Gazette cannot confirm that the moon disappeared for three nights because someone misplaced it.
Readers are reminded that all stories published by The Unseelie Gazette undergo a rigorous verification process involving eyewitness testimony, anonymous tips, tavern gossip and, where available, at least one reasonably trustworthy raven.
Should any individual feel they have been unfairly represented in our pages, they are welcome to submit a formal complaint. These are reviewed every Thursday and stored in a special filing cabinet marked “Later.”
Finally, we wish to state for the record that the newspaper is not currently being investigated by the Royal Authorities, the Mage’s Guild, the Department of Unnatural Affairs, or the Goose.
The Goose, however, continues to pursue its own legal action.
– Hagatha, Editor-in-Chief